Tell Your Story
Have you been hurt from abortion? Have you been healed and set free from your past abortion trauma? We would like to hear your abortion story.
Please share your abortion story with us:
“I had an abortion when I was 16 years old. It was the only choice given to me at the time. Afterwards, I shoved it down and locked it away. It wasn’t until after I attended the Rachel’s Vineyard retreat that I realized how much healing I needed. I’m so glad I went! It changed my life forever! After my retreat I felt called to this ministry. I trained for and began leading Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats in Texas. Shortly after that, I moved to Germany and started a Rachel’s Vineyard Site for the military and English-speaking people. There are plans to extend the retreats into military communities in Korea and possibly Japan as well. It’s amazing what God can do with a broken, messed-up life if we only surrender it to Him.” Julie
I, myself, have received help, healing and hope after I had an abortion. My story starts with a family broken by divorce, then sexual abuse by a family member and later, by several adult men. My mother remarried a man who was a drug addict. I did not understand boundaries or healthy relationships and these things led to my promiscuity as a young teenager.
I was 15 years old when I got pregnant by my boyfriend. For a while, I thought we would get married and be a family and I secretly prayed for that, but didn’t really even know who God was. I did not know it at the time but he was an alcoholic. When his mother found out, she pressured me to get an abortion saying. ‘I was too young to be a mom’. He continued to drink and cheated on me. How could the person who was supposed to love me, hurt me so badly? My heart was reeling with lies whispered by the deceiver, so I made an appointment with an abortion clinic thinking it would “take care of my problem”. Once there, I should have ran out but instead I walked into the exam room where they inserted a cervical dilator and said to come back the next day. I was so distraught, what had I done? How did I get here?? I went home and told my mom that I was getting an abortion. My mother told me not to do it. I started crying and called my Obstetrician to ask about the cervical dilator? She told me that the odds were now extremely high that I would miscarry because of the dilator. Through my tears, I told my mom that I felt I had no choice but to do it. She told me to not come back home if I did, so I left. My boyfriend who was supposed to ‘be there for me’ went out and got drunk again, so a friend took me back. It all seemed like a bad dream, but unfortunately, it was all too real. At the clinic, it so was cold and austere—I started crying again. I really did not want to do it. I just wanted someone to tell me I would be okay and the baby would be okay. That I could handle this…my mom had done that, but again the lies were swirling around in my head. The nurse told me to put a gown on and to lay on the exam table. The two things I will never forget about the abortion:
1. The extremely sharp pains I felt as my baby was dismembered and his life taken from me —I cried and told them to stop but they wouldn’t.
2. The horrible sucking noise of the vacuum machine.
Eventually, I stumbled out to the waiting room. The staff quickly grabbed me and told me sternly to go to the back of the clinic to get picked up! I was dazed and in pain and left with an antibiotic in my hand and my heart broken. I was completely drained —emotionally and physically and later on I realized, spiritually, too. Because I was still in the dark, a friend later took me to Planned Parenthood for birth control pills. They gave me a year’s worth of pills (without disclosing the risks of the pill or how being abstinent could have really helped me). I drank alcohol and did drugs to numb myself out. I tried to tell myself that it was okay, but I knew deep down, it was not okay—I was not okay. Physically, I worried if I would ever be able to have children? Emotionally, I felt such guilt and regret. Spiritually, I felt so ashamed that I thought God would never forgive me.
At 19, I became pregnant again and although the father was an abusive alcoholic, I decided to raise the baby. I was determined to never have another abortion—not ever again. And while being a young single mother was not easy, I knew I had made the right decision this time—one I would never regret!
My journey to healing began about 20 years ago. I had met a young man and we fell in love. I prayed to God that this man would become my husband. God answered that prayer! My future husband and I started going to church, where he accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, got baptized and then we got married in the church! He is a great dad to my baby girl (whose now an adult and married with a child of her own)! We have been blessed with two additional beautiful children! As our faith journey has progressed, I have received healing and hope through Bible study, prayer and attending an abortion recovery retreat. I was able to honor the memory of my son and receive true forgiveness and healing from the Lord! My favorite verse is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” If abortion is in your past, the same love and forgiveness found in Jesus Christ is available to you! Don’t wait another minute believing the lies! H3Helpline is ready and able to help you with
I was in college and became pregnant. My boyfriend didn’t want to have the baby and I didn’t want the shame of being pregnant and not married. I kept my secret for over 18 years. Finally while in a church service , I surrendered my secret to God. The healing journey began. I went to an abortion recovery program that helped in my healing tremendously. I’m glad I told my secret D
“This retreat for me was surprisingly needed. I came to support my wife and left feeling blessed and delivered. I found out that God wanted me to heal from the same trauma that my wife experienced. Before Rachel’s Vineyard, we only discussed this issue briefly. While at the retreat I learned she had lost two children to abortions and so did I. We were able to deal with everything together. God is Powerful!” Rick