HELP • HOPE • HEALING
The H3Helpline is a ministry of New Heart of Texas Ministries. H3Helpline is dedicated to letting those who are hurting from their post-abortion pain know they are not alone. We understand the pain that is associated with post-abortion in women and men involved in this desperate decision. We provide the best recovery resources available today for women experiencing depression, guilt or grief after getting an abortion.
Learn More About H3Helpline
H3Helpline is a nationwide after abortion helpline answering calls from across the country. We serve as a safe place for you to call if you are considering abortion or have suffered emotional pain after an abortion. Our professionally trained Helpline Coaches have also experienced abortion. They are available to listen, empathize and encourage you to start your own journey of healing. Our Helpline Coaches will research and recommend healing resources in your local area to begin your healing and restoration.
Together we can restore countless lives. Helping Heal the Pain of Abortion one phone call at a time.
Provide a safe, confidential, 24/7 Helpline for those who have experienced abortion, by offering encouragement and resources to start their healing journey.
Help those struggling with the choice of a past abortion find Help • Hope • Healing through H3Helpline.
H3Helpline Helpline Coaches
H3Helpline serves as a safe place for you to call. Our professionally trained Helpline Coaches have also experienced abortion. They are available to listen, empathize and encourage you to start your own journey of healing.
Terri is Director of H3Helpline and is living in Missouri. Terri is the former Director and Founder of Riverside Pregnancy Center in Denver, CO where she served for 10 years. Terri also has 9 years experience in managing and training an abortion recovery phone line. She has had the privilege of answering and talking to thousands of hurting people and assisting them to find hope and healing resources. She has taught and led numerous recovery groups, and helped with weekend recovery programs.
Terri has her own story of Help•Hope•Healing after abortion. She chose abortion when she was in college, right after abortion became legal. She thought, “How could abortion be so wrong if it is legal?” Her boyfriend at the time was encouraging abortion -“no one will have to know”. Also, she didn’t want to embarrass her family with being pregnant and not married. Terri was able to keep her decision a secret for years. It wasn’t until she saw her first ultra sound of her second child that she came to the realization of her choice – she had terminated life. Terri was able to suppress her emotions and hide her abortion for several more years. One day while sitting in church, the pastor opened up the service for testimonies, a young girl stood up and asked forgiveness for her abortion. That is when Terri’s journey of healing started. First she acknowledged her regrets and loss, and then she asked God’s forgiveness and help in healing and restoration. God gave Terri a passion to tell her story so other women could break free from the bondage of their hurt and pain, and be renewed and restored to live in freedom. She wants you to find your Help•Hope•Healing after Abortion.
Mary Lee is the Founder and President of New Heart of Texas ministries. These ministries include Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats for those hurting from abortion, and Grief to Grace Retreats for those who have suffered from abuse and the H3Helpine. Mary Lee served as a phone consultant for an abortion recovery helpline for 7 years where she has spoken to thousands of women and men hurting from the pain of abortion and abuse. She has been the director of two pregnancy centers and has trained hundreds of volunteers who serve clients with unplanned pregnancies. Mary Lee has such a passion for this ministry as she herself has experienced the pain of abortion and desires others to experience the healing she has received.
When she was 18 years old and in college she became pregnant and made the decision to a have an abortion which she immediately regretted. She kept it a secret for over 20 years. Each year she went through a deep depression for 6-8 weeks around her abortion anniversary. She attended a Rachel’s Vineyard Abortion Recovery Retreat in 2006 and there, for the first time, she was able to forgive herself for aborting her unborn child. Since then she has dedicated her life to help women and men find healing and forgiveness from the emotional trauma they have suffered because of their abortions and/or abuse.
healing started. First she acknowledged her regrets and loss, and then she asked God’s forgiveness and help in healing and restoration. God gave Terri a passion to tell her story so other women could break free from the bondage of their hurt and pain, and be renewed and restored to live in freedom. She wants you to find your Help•Hope•Healing after Abortion.
Pamela Fincher has been married to Dr. Randolph E. Fincher, an Optometrist, for the past 50 years. She and her husband also have four (4) beautiful children.
Pamela currently serves as the Foundress and Executive Director of Christian Family Services of Colorado, Inc. Christian Family Services is a ministry of adoption that is located in Aurora, Colorado. Pam has served at Christian Family Services for over 35 years as a Birth Parent and Adoptive Couple Counselor. She has also trained other individuals in working with pregnant clients and adoptive couples. During her involvement at CFS, Pam has had the honor of answering telephone calls and speaking to hundreds of men and women regarding abortion and adoption. Additionally, Pam has counseled with many women and men in unplanned pregnancy situations to better assist them in understanding the truth about abortion vs adoption. Furthermore, Pam has had the privilege of seeing many beautiful and wonderful babies being born and given life through adoption.
Pam’s personal experience with abortion came when she was still attending college and found herself in an unplanned pregnancy situation. The State of Colorado had just legalized abortion and she found herself thinking that abortion was the answer to her pregnancy problem. The biological father of her baby did not want her to abort their baby, but Pam made the final decision and did abort her child.
No one at the abortion clinic where Pam went told her the truth about her abortion. They did not tell her that she would experience great amounts of grief and guilt over her abortion. Nor did they tell her how she would deeply regret her decision for many years to come. The abortion workers never expressed that Pam’s decision to abort her baby would affect her emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. In fact at that time, she felt God could not EVER forgive her for the sin of abortion. At that time, Pam couldn’t EVER see forgiving herself. So, how could God forgive her for aborting her baby? Pam truly needed so much help with this question and then, He sent someone into her life that knew about the way to get healing from the cruel and abusive act of abortion.
After several years had gone by, Pam had a meeting with a fellow worker at Christian Family Services. She talked to Pam about abortion healing and Pam decided to go through an Abortion Recovery Class. Through this recovery class Pam personally asked the Lord Jesus to forgive her for aborting her baby and she chose to forgive herself. Pam named her baby and decided what she thought the sex of her child might be. She did not understand then that all of this work towards the healing and recovery of the abortion of her baby was just the beginning of her journey towards working with other pregnant women that were considering abortion instead of giving their child(ren) life.
“I praise Jesus for His beautiful forgiveness towards me and my abortion. I praise Him for His unconditional love for me. I also praise the Lord God Almighty that He sent a beautiful woman to me that taught me how to share the truth about abortion. Finally, I praise Jesus Christ my Savior that He will be able to use me at the H3Helpline in any way that He desires!”
Cindy comes to us with a heart for those who have experienced abortion. She has been freed from the bondage of self-hatred, fear, anger, manipulation, depression, rejection, and the list goes on and on. Because of her freedom she has a passion to help others. Cindy has 13 years of experience leading Forgiven and Set Free, helping with Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats and answering the International Helpline for the over 2 years.
As a child Cindy grew up in a loving and healthy environment. She was brought up Catholic, so she knew right from wrong. As an adolescent the loving and healthy environment took an ugly turn when her parents divorced which reigned in great turmoil and confusion. Her mother then got involved in an abusive relationship and was buried shortly thereafter. Cindy turned to drugs to numb the pain. She was naïve in many ways, she did not know how to have healthy relationships and found herself pregnant. She was ashamed and alone and did not know where to turn. She thought how could she bring this shame upon her family? A friend told her about abortion. It was her escape, her refuge from the storm, and no one would ever know. So off she went, a friend dropped her off and there she sat. Looking down at that cold laminate tile floor in the cold metal fold up chair along with the others in the same predicament she was in. It was a long wait and a painful procedure. The pain and the sound, she will never forget that sound. It was over, she was so thankful it was over. Then she had to make that awful, dreaded decision a second time. The second time was worse than the first; Cindy said she should have known better. It was over in an instant, but the pain; the pain remained. The drugs became more prevalent and alcohol was added to numb the pain. Cindy didn’t realize where it was coming from since she was freed from anyone knowing that she had ever been pregnant in the first place. Cindy was in deep denial of what she had done. Cindy then met her wonderful husband and they had a beautiful daughter, it was while Cindy was pregnant the harsh reality of what she had done came slapping her in the face. Her thoughts came rushing in –“What if God chooses to punish me for what I did? Will my baby be ok? Oh sure you are having a baby now, it’s not just a blob, it’s a baby” More and more it flooded her mind, then when that glorious day arrived and her daughter entered her world, Cindy was unable to bond with her, not wanting to hold her precious gift from God. She was perfect in every way, He did not punish Cindy. He had no need to punish her; she was punishing herself in ways that she didn’t even know. Every relationship Cindy had suffered from the rage she felt toward herself. Even through all of that God was pursuing her, longing for her to surrender to His is love and care. Cindy’s little family finally all fell into His loving arms of mercy and grace after years of relentless pursuit. Their lives began to have real meaning, relationships were beginning to heal and life was manageable. But there was still that dirty secret that was tucked away, that no one except her friend and God and eventually her husband knew about. It stalked her like an extortionist waiting to release it to the world, to her newfound friends, her church! Oh her church, Cindy’s thoughts went wild again, “what if they found out who she really was? They would never allow her to be involved in anything anymore I must do all that I can to keep them from knowing.” It was then that she came clean with her small group she could no longer hide who she was. Cindy knew that she wanted to help others at that point to never have to feel like she was feeling. Her small group of course, was loving and compassionate and supportive. Not long after that Cindy’s daughter and her husband were expecting a child. Cindy escorted them to a local Pregnancy Help Center and discovered an Abortion Recovery Program. It came at the nick of time for Cindy to be able to enjoy her first grand-girl. She had never understood why she had no desire to hold babies, but God used this program to heal her broken heart and, she is now able to enjoy holding babies.
Cindy says, “She is certain had abortion not been legal, I would never have considered it. But it was legal and easily attainable, so that is the road that I traveled. It is the wide road and many are deceived by it. Abortion is by far the most life altering decision I have ever made and I have always regretted it. If you have found yourself struggling with the misguided decision of abortion, I encourage you to give the power of an Abortion Recovery Program an opportunity to help you heal from the pain, shame and suffering of your loss.”
Christine is dedicated to helping women heal from their pain of abortion. Christine has worked with an Abortion Recovery Helpline for the last 2 years. She has attended Rachel’s Vineyard and Grief to Grace and understands the journey of healing. Christine also volunteers with New Heart of Texas.
This is Christine’s story in her own words:
“I was 15 years old when I got pregnant by my boyfriend. For a while, I thought we would get married and be a family and I secretly prayed for that, but didn’t really even know who God was. I did not know it at the time but he was an alcoholic. When his mother found out, she pressured me to get an abortion saying. ‘I was too young to be a mom’. He continued to drink and cheated on me. How could the person who was supposed to love me, hurt me so badly? My heart was reeling with lies whispered by the deceiver, so I made an appointment with an abortion clinic thinking it would “take care of my problem”. I went home and told my mom that I was getting an abortion. My mother told me not to do it. Through my tears, I told my mom that I felt I had no choice but to do it. She told me to not come back home if I did, so I left. My boyfriend who was supposed to ‘be there for me’ went out and got drunk again, so a friend took me. It all seemed like a bad dream, but unfortunately, it was all too real. At the clinic, it so was cold and austere—I started crying again. I really did not want to do it. I just wanted someone to tell me I would be okay and the baby would be okay. That I could handle this…my mom had done that, but again the lies were swirling around in my head. The nurse told me to put a gown on and to lay on the exam table. The two things I will never forget about the abortion:
- The extremely sharp pains I felt as my baby was dismembered and his life taken from me —I cried and told them to stop but they wouldn’t.
- The horrible sucking noise of the vacuum machine.
Eventually, I stumbled out to the waiting room. The staff quickly grabbed me and told me sternly to go to the back of the clinic to get picked up! I was dazed and in pain and left with an antibiotic in my hand and my heart broken. I was completely drained —emotionally and physically and later on I realized, spiritually, too. I drank alcohol and did drugs to numb myself out. I tried to tell myself that it was okay, but I knew deep down, it was not okay—I was not okay. Physically, I worried if I would ever be able to have children? Emotionally, I felt such guilt and regret. Spiritually, I felt so ashamed that I thought God would never forgive me.
My journey to healing began about 20 years ago. I had met a young man and we fell in love. I prayed to God that this man would become my husband. God answered that prayer! My future husband and I started going to church, where he accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior, got baptized and then we got married in the church! As our faith journey has progressed, I have received healing and hope through Bible study, prayer and attending an abortion recovery retreat. I was able to honor the memory of my son and receive true forgiveness and healing from the Lord! My favorite verse is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
Liz has been trained in Stephen Ministry in 2010 and became a Stephen Leader in 2016 where she has trained others to care and pray for people who are grieving a loss in their lives. Liz has moved all over Texas and has volunteered in many different ministries in her churches. Liz has a great group of positive women in her life for 22 years in her personal work.
Liz has attended New Heart of Texas Rachel’s Vineyard retreat and will be attending the Grief to Grace retreat. She understands what it is to have had an abortion and live many years in a healing journey.
Here is her story:
I was 17 when my boyfriend and I got pregnant and he took me to have my abortion. A friend of mine went with the two of us. He drove me to a nearby city 20 minutes away to a clinic. The whole way there it was silent, he never said anything during this trip to the clinic. I was crying and hiding the tears. He never told me he wanted to keep the baby before this day. We arrived and all walked in. We waited it seemed like eternity for them to call me back. No one was there to greet us. No one was waiting in the waiting room or the clinic. Finally a lady came from a back room and called me back. I do remember she asked why I was there and if I was sure and what type of payment I had (cash only). I was so scared and remember going into a room and the person asking for payment and again asking if I really wanted to have an abortion. I remember them have me say it out loud. They took me into another examination room and let the doctor check to see how far along I was which was 8 weeks. They then took me into the first room I paid them the $300. They explained what was going to happen and told me not to look at the glass container during the abortion. I remember the scraps and tugging and was crying the whole time and all I heard was the vacuuming of the machine. The procedure was done and I turned as they were rolling the glass container out of the door. I just saw lots of blood and pieces of something but couldn’t make it out. They told me that I would feel hungry and to not go home and sleep. I felt numb as I was walking to the front door. My boyfriend was sitting on the couch with his eye closed as if he was sleeping. I tapped him on the leg and said we can go. He walked to the door and held it open for us and I stopped and told him I was hungry. That made him so mad. We got in the car and he asked me where to drop us off at and I told him at my friends house. On the way to her house he drove 90 miles a hour down the highway and I asked him to slow down and he wouldn’t he would just go faster. My friend and I was so scared. We finally got to her house and he drove away. I saw him several other times, he came to my house for Halloween and for my birthday. We both had another boyfriend and girlfriend during that time. Years later, I thought I shouldn’t have said anything walking out of the clinic or just said I’m sorry. I still think about him on the anniversary of my abortion and his birthday. I hope he is well after all this time. I know now my baby girl Jasmine Lynn is with our Lord in heaven with all my love.
In my life I have had traumatic events happen to me such as sexual abuse and physical abuse and emotional abuse. I can say with true conviction that Jesus Christ has been with me every step of the way. Without Him I would not be here today. It has been quite a journey with counseling and difficult time in my marriage and now feeling God’s love and knowing my child will be waiting for me. Two scriptures I love are: “I am with you always” Matthew 28:20 and the other, I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and fortress, My God in whom I trust!” Psalm 91:2 and the prayer that has saved me is The Divine Mercy Prayer.
Dedra is dedicated to helping women heal from their pain of abortion.
Dedra is a realtor in MO & KS, wife and mother of two sons, one of whom serves in the United States Coast Guard as ET-3 Electronic Technician
This is Dedra’s story in her own words:
“I was 16 years old when I got pregnant by my boyfriend. We thought we would get married and be a family and I secretly prayed for that, but I shortly realized that I wasn’t ready to be a wife and mother. I was afraid and embarrassed to tell my single mother and my family that I was pregnant. My heart was reeling with lies whispered by satan, so I made an appointment with an abortion clinic thinking it would “take care of my problem”. My boyfriend told me not to do it. Through my tears, I told my boyfriend that I felt I had no choice but to do it. My boyfriend was upset and very disappointed and he left town shortly afterward he learned that I had my mind made up. I still remember walking into the clinic, it was cold and I was very scared. I really thought this was the right decision and my life would be easier without a child. That I could handle this…But again the lies were swirling around in my head. The nurse told me to put a gown on and to lay on the exam table. The two things I will never forget about the abortion:
- The extremely sharp pains I felt as my baby was dismembered and his life taken from me —I cried.
- The horrible sucking noise of the vacuum machine.
The nurse took me to the waiting room, gave me some pain medicine and I had to stay there for 30 minutes. I was dazed and in pain and left with an antibiotic and my heart broken. I was completely drained —emotionally and physically and later on I realized, spiritually, too. I tried to tell myself that it was okay, but I knew deep down, it was not okay—I was not okay. Emotionally, I felt such guilt and regret. Spiritually, I felt so ashamed that I thought God would never forgive me.
My journey to healing began about 3 1/2 years ago.I met a lady at church and as I was dealing with other issues in my life I discovered that I had never dealt with my abortion. I was living in denial. I hadn’t discussed the abortion since it happen.
So, here I was married with two sons and a wonderful husband who didn’t know anything about it. I never shared this information with my mother as I was ashamed and afraid they would judge me. I prayed to God asking him to give me the word to say as I revealed this secret with my family. God answered that prayer! My husband and family were very supportive and understanding. As our faith journey has progressed, I have received healing and hope through Bible study, prayer and attending an abortion recovery retreat. I was able to honor the memory of my son and receive true forgiveness and healing from the Lord!
My favorite verse is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
De’Cean is married to her wonderful husband Alten Jones Jr., an Aircraft Maintenance Technician, for the past 18 years. They have three (3) beautiful Kingdom (adopted) children! She has a heart for helping women find their healing after abortion. She has been trained as a facilitator for “Forgiven and Set Free Healing” by Linda Cochrane through Hope for a Heart in Texas. She has also co-facilitated for over 10 years at Oak Cliff Bible and Fellowship under Dr. Tony Evans through Free at Last post abortion recovery studies. De’Cean served in the Pregnancy Resource Center and counseling ministry for several years under the great leadership of Dr. Tony Evans.
When De’Cean was 18 years old and in high school she became pregnant and made the decision to a have an abortion which she immediately regretted. She kept it a secret for over 18 years. She thought about it from time to time and around the abortion anniversary each year. De’Cean attended a post abortion class through her church, Free at last program. Not because she wanted to but because she wanted to volunteer at her local Pregnancy Resource Center as a client advocate. Only to find out that it was required to attend an post abortion recovery program, since she had an abortion before.
De’Cean attended Forgiven and Set Free Abortion Recovery in 2006 and there, for the first time, she was able to forgive herself for aborting her unborn child. It was the most painful thing she had to admit and deal with, after she had buried these feeling, hurt, shame and pain for so long. She did not even realize she needed to be completely healed from her abortion experience until she attended the recovery program! De’Cean finally acknowledge her regrets and loss, and then Asked God for His forgiveness and to help her receive his healing and restoration. She shared her painful journey with a group of ladies that had made the same decision. The ladies not only walked with her, but held her accountable for her decision to be completely healed.
Since then, she has dedicated her life to help women find healing and forgiveness from the emotional trauma they have suffered because of their abortions and/or abuse.
Stephanie is a mother of 5 children, a mother-in-love to 4, and a grandmother to 14. She is a licensed massage therapist. God is expanding her passions and desires to include many other areas, including legislation through being a citizen activist. She comes to H3Helpline with a great passion to encourage women to start their healing journey from the pain of abortion.
It has been said …‘No little girl ever dreams about becoming a prostitute’.
Let it be known…‘No little girl ever dreams about having an abortion’.
She was raised in a loving, two parent Christian home. Her world was safe. Her childhood desire was to be married, have children and grow old gracefully with her husband. But life had a detour she never saw coming. She and her high school sweetheart made a decision to end the life of their first child. During college they parted ways. Stephanie became unglued and promiscuous. Another pregnancy and another abortion. Soon after the second secret abortion, she and her high school sweet heart got married. God blessed them with 5 beautiful children. Things were as they should be. Or were they? An ache deep inside of her continued. Going from doctor to counselor to psychologists, one day a pastor friend helped her turn her eyes back to Jesus, giving rest and hope. But she was still VERY broken.
Her story isn’t different from millions of women in various stages of their confusion. One moment Stephanie convinced herself it is OK to have an abortion… but felt like a lifetime to convince herself she was going to BE ok… All the while knowing deep inside she was NOT ok. Not without getting help from somewhere. But where??
Her breakthrough came when she was able to grieve the loss of her babies privately and publicly through a ministry called If Not For Grace. Her children she lost to abortion became real. Her healing journey began.
Stephanie now has the boldness to be obedient and speak out for truth. The pain that had inhibited her from her God given purpose, gave way to understanding God’s plan is for her for ‘such a time as this’. She gives all glory to our God our Father for HIS mercy and grace. Esther 4:14 #prograce
Loni has a heart for helping women and men find help after abortion. She has been trained as a facilitator for “Forgiven and Set Free” and Pathway to Sexual Healing” both by Linda Cochrane. Loni has also facilitated other Christ centered post abortion recovery studies which included, “Surrendering the Secret and “Concepts of Recovery -The Journey”. In 2013, Loni retired and began ministry work full-time which included serving in a men’s prison where she began facilitating, “A Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Loni has completed the 12 Steps in Celebrate Recovery and served as a facilitator at Calvary Chapel. In 2017, she co-authored a post abortion curriculum titled “Brick by Brick Workbook” based on the book, “Brick by Brick Healing a Woman’s Heart His Way” by Keven Covert. Loni is no stranger to help lines as she has answered calls for 3 years on an abortion recovery helpline.
“I never really recovered from my parent’s divorce at the age of 2 and the abuse sustained from a cruel step-mother – now all deceased – so it wasn’t a surprise when I became pregnant at the age of 14. My 19 year old boyfriend assured me that he knew a woman who would take care of the problem. I was hoping my boyfriend would offer to marry me but that was never mentioned. He took me to a woman who injected Lysol cleaning solution into me. She charged me $25.00. I ended up in the hospital two days later. The doctors were aware of the illegal abortion but simply gave me a D&C and sent me home. One year later I became pregnant by the same boy and the scenario was repeated. Although the first abortion had been hidden from my father, this time he suspected that something was wrong and sent me to live with a relative in California. I ended up in the hospital where once again a D&C was performed. I had been treated in two hospitals in two different states and seen by many medical personnel and no one suggested my need for counseling.”
Loni was treated for depression, fits of rage, nightmares and intimacy disorders for over ten years and not one medical professional told her that it was connected to her three abortions. It was in 2005, after three failed marriages and at the age of fifty that she began her abortion healing journey. By 53, she had been married three times and her fourth divorce was in her future. It wasn’t until Loni completed a Bible study called Divorce Care did she begin to suspect that these events in her life were connected to something much deeper…somewhere she had never visited. She did not know anything about Post Abortion Syndrome. The guilt and shame burdened her so much that Loni found it impossible to maintain an intimate relationship. After that first study, the Lord led her to another study “Forgiven and Set Free” by Linda Cochrane which helped heal the pain of abortion.
Linda lives in Missouri with her husband of 42 years. They have two children and five grandchildren. Linda has worked for If Not For Grace Ministries (INFG), an abortion recovery ministry for five years as the Community Awareness Coordinator. Along with Community Awareness she has facilitated Her Choice to Heal abortion recovery classes, helped facilitate reconciliation weekends and led Bible studies through their Next Steps services. Linda spreads her passion for abortion recovery to the community through pastor presentations, speaking engagements, conferences/events and networking. She has been trained in trauma healing through the American Bible Society Trauma Healing Conference. She is honored to serve on the Advisory Board for Wise Women: Education, Community, Empowerment in Lee’s Summit.
Linda’s zeal for women’s restoration comes from her own abortion story and the restoration God has done in her life. Without God’s forgiveness and redemption her marriage would never have made it this far. Linda and her husband experienced an abortion together before they were married. The Bible says ‘the enemy comes to steal, and to kill and to destroy’ and that is exactly what he was doing to their marriage. He had taken their baby and he worked for 37 years to take their marriage. John 10:10 continues with “I have come that they may have life, and they may have it more abundantly.” Through God’s word, an abortion recovery class and reconciliation weekend Linda and her husband have been living life more abundantly by helping others find healing from past abortions.
Scott has served in many volunteer positions with the Boy Scouts of America, on the local adult committee for Young Life and on the Board for the Heritage Philharmonic. He currently serves on the Board for If Not For Grace Ministries (INFG), an abortion recovery ministry. He is an active member of Shepherd’s Way Church and attends the local men’s weekly Bible Study Fellowship.
Scott found the healing and redemption that he didn’t realize he needed from his own abortion experience with his bride, before they were married, when he attended a Reconciliation Weekend to ‘support’ his bride who was completing her healing after participating in an abortion recovery study through If Not For Grace. Since that event their marriage has been revived and Scott has served in many volunteer capacities with INFG; from helping facilitate reconciliation weekends to sharing his story with small and large groups.
Nancy is from Central MO and has been married for 42 years, has 3 grown sons and 5 grandchildren. She is a retired school teacher. She started the organization Women Helping Others (W.H.O.) in 2013. The goal of WHO is to bring HOPE to women who are hurting. Nancy also serves as the Central Missouri Regional Coordinator for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign and is a leader for Surrendering the Secret healing courses.
Nancy married her husband 2 weeks shy of her 16th birthday. On her 17th birthday she gave birth to her oldest son. Six months later she found herself pregnant again and overwhelmed. Her husband offered to call his doctor and arrange for an abortion. Nancy had a dream the night before of a little girl running through a field of flowers. The little girl stopped right in front of Nancy and said, “Mommy don’t kill me.” The next morning Nancy told her husband she did not want to have the abortion. He felt it was what was best for Nancy so they continued to the Planned Parenthood.
The doctor who performed the abortion told Nancy that he was going to use a suction hose like those used in a dentist office. That experience caused her to have panic attacks when she visited a dentist office. It got so bad that she stopped having preventive care.
Nancy stuffed that day down so deep in her subconscious that she is unable to recall details of the procedure. She kept the secret of her abortion for 16 years. She shared it with two people who only offered her condemnation. She learned then that abortion was not a subject people talked about. Nancy lied to her physicians each time they asked how many times have you been pregnant. She changed doctors when she was asked why she had scarring on her cervix.
Years passed and Nancy went to a local pregnancy resource center to volunteer. She was asked to take a Surrendering the Secret class because she had had an abortion. She took the class and her healing journey began. Nancy also attended Rachel’s Vineyard where she started to release the anger and unforgiveness that was in her emotional roller coaster of a marriage. Next she heard of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign and started to give her testimony. This opened the door for her to go public with her abortion story. She is no longer silent about her abortion and she has a passion to help other women find healing from their past abortions.
Tenysha is a wife and a soon-to-be mother to a baby girl in May 2021! She is a fulltime student studying to be a paralegal. God has completely transformed her life in
the last two years and has led her to become a part of the H3Helpline ministry. Her
mission is to serve and connect with women who have experienced the pain of
She was brought up in a spirit-filled Christian home where she gave her life to Christ at the age of 4. As a young Christian, there were high expectations to stay true to the word of God by living a virtuous life and remaining pure until marriage. In a sense, this created more fear of what her family and others would think if she messed up.
That fear created a wedge between her and her parents. Not having that open communication line and trust made her fearful of coming to them in a time of crisis. There was also high expectations-on her to graduate high school and get her college degree. As a senior in high school, she was doing all the exciting planning for the big graduation day and college. She was thrilled to start this new chapter of independence and adulthood. It wasn’t until a month after graduation her world
came stashing down when she found out she was pregnant. That positive pregnancy test filled her mind with anxiety and fear. All these thoughts flooded in of what her family and people in the church would think. She felt that she failed as a Christian and a daughter. In this instance, the enemy’s lies crippled her mind with a fear that her parents would hate her if they found out. The only person whom she trusted to tell was her boyfriend, who was the baby’s father. When she thought he would comfort her and tell her everything would be okay, he did the opposite. He laughed in her face and told her they needed to have an abortion. She was angered by his response and stormed out of the room. Although she was terrified of her unexpected pregnancy, she felt strongly against abortion and did feel she could make that decision. The next day her boyfriend gave her an ultimatum. He told her that she had a week to decide, all while pressuring her towards abortion. His true character started to come out; he made her feel bad about herself for wanting to keep the baby. Telling her she would never be successful, and her parents would hate her and him. He also said that if she kept the baby, he would take her to court and ruin her life. At this point, she felt defenseless and hopeless. He had put an abundant amount of fear in her head about keeping this pregnancy. There was a tremendous amount of influence and pressure on her from someone she thought loved her. He even went to the extent to call planned parenthood to schedule the appointment himself but was unsuccessful. At that moment, she hit her breaking point and made an excruciating decision to go through with the abortion. The pain she went through that day could be described as the worst day of her life. She laid under the same roof of her family, experiencing the most agony she had ever felt, and nobody had a clue she was suffering. After that day, she made it her mission to forget everything that had happened. She was determined to be successful and finish college so she can make right what she did wrong. For a short period, it seemed like she made the right decision. Her first year of college was a major success landing her the best grades she had ever gotten. Not long after that, her life started falling apart. She changed, and it wasn’t for the better; she became very cold and bitter. It was impossible to talk to her because she was always angry and depressed. She started to live in isolation and pushed everyone away that tried to get close to her. To fill this emptiness inside of her, she turned to partying, drinking, and drugs. When none of that could fulfill her, she turned to sex, which only led to more hurt and pain.
Nobody understood the pain she was going through; it was at that point when she became tormented with the thoughts of taking her own life. She hated herself so much that she no longer wanted to live on this earth. She could no longer function as she did before without having major anxiety and panic attacks. She lost all motivation in school and stopped going. She was suspended from the university and felt like she had nothing else to live for. Her mother invited her to a women’s retreat that she was reluctant to go on. However, she knew that God was still faithful and powerful, and he was the only one who could save her from this life of torment. She went to that retreat with the expectations that God would move in her life and receive healing. That night she and her mother walked that aisle in faith to receive healing. Without telling the woman who prayed for her a single thing, she prayed a powerful prayer pinpointing everything she felt. In desperation, Tenysha cried out
to God for forgiveness and healing. The lord was so faithful to restore and renew he so delicately spoke to her that her baby’s name would have been David, and at that moment, a burden was lifted off of her and left the pain she had been carrying at
that alter. When she returned home, she continued the forgiven and set a free course with her mentor Gayle. Through this bible study, her relationship with Christ grew stronger, and she understood everything she had gone through. After finishing
the study, she attended a three-day retreat called mourning to joy, where she shared her testimony with a group of women for the first time. Her story moved every person in that room; they all wrote her letters of how God had used her to minister
to them and help receive their healing. After that, she knew right away that the holy spirit was leading her to help women experiencing the pain of abortion. She has a passion and the heart to share her testimony and tell others that there is healing in Jesus Christ. He turned her life around, and now she will live her life to glorify his name.
Tiffany is from MO and has been married for 4 years, has 6 children, 1 in heaven, 5 living on earth. She and her husband are a blended family of 3 girls and 2 boys. She is a Client Services Manager at a local pregnancy help center and is a leader for Surrendering the Secret healing ministry.
Tiffany was raised in a broken home with no Christian morals or values. She dated around and found herself pregnant after meeting a man at a bar only a few weeks earlier. This was an African American man, and my mom was not going to have a “mixed baby” in this family. Her mother scheduled the abortion at a local Planned Parenthood and there were to be no other talk about it. Tiffany did not feel she had a choice. Her mother told her the child’s life would be ruined because of it being bi-racial. That day came and it was so awful she wanted to forget it ever happened. The only thing she remembered of that day was the sound of the suction and how cold it was in the room. She buried that day deep in her soul to never speak of it again. Unfortunately, the same person who encouraged, made the appointment, and took Tiffany to the appointment, her mother, was the same person to continually condemn her. Tiffany went on to live a dangerous lifestyle of depression, promiscuity, drugs and alcohol.
Fast forward to 2013 when God rescued her from the bondage of self-destruction. From that day God continued to show Tiffany how He was going to use her past for the good. She started going to church regularly and one day they had a sign up to do a serve day. One of the options to serve at was a pregnancy center. She went directly to that sheet and could not wait to check it out. Tiffany was so blown away by what that center did she just had to volunteer there. Since she had a past abortion, they require volunteers to take the healing class, Surrendering the Secret. She took the class, and the healing journey began. This class was so beneficial to her understanding why she was suffering with such anger, depression, self-hate and other negative symptoms that go along with a past abortion. This then opened the door for her to begin sharing her story with others. She began volunteering at the pregnancy center, she shared her story with her church and the podcast “Abortion Hurts God Heals”. Tiffany was then asked to be a co-leader with Surrendering the Secret healing class. God just continued to direct her path to helping heal women from past abortion but to also celebrate those women who have chosen life for the unborn child. She started “Embrace Grace” at her church and had a successful season with 2 women completing the 12-week course. In 2019, 2 years after she started to volunteer at the pregnancy center the directors approached her with an offer she could not refuse. She was asked to be the Client Services Manager for the center with a 3-year plan to become a Director. September 2019, she started that new position working about 10 hours a week. Within 6 months COVID-19 hit and when so many businesses were shutdown, Tiffany’s work increased now working 20+ hours per week. Also, during this time she was asked to take over leadership of Surrendering the Secret. And to top off 2020, Tiffany was invited to be a Helpline Coach for H3Helpline, which is a national helpline for people to call to get help with the pain they are suffering due to a past abortion. As you can see, God has blessed Tiffany’s past abundantly and continues to do so. Tiffany is quoted saying, “ Praise the Lord!”
Sharon is a retired registered nurse who worked 30+ years primarily in adult emergency health at Kansas City’s safety net hospital which was at the time the primary teaching hospital for the University of Missouri Medical School at Kansas City. Most of those years she was manager (with a number of titles) of the Emergency Department and also had supervisory responsibility at various times for outpatient clinics, critical care units, specialty inpatient units and the dialysis service. Most recently she has volunteered with INFG as facilitator for HCTH studies, Reconciliation Weekends, Next Steps Bible studies and served on the Board of Directors. She has completed Stephen Minister training and will be commissioned as a Stephen Minister in June, 2018.
Widowed at an early age and without any living children, Sharon has been involved in various volunteer activities that have utilized her nursing background, management experience, and the spiritual gifts God has given. She is an active church member serving in: women’s ministry; choir; Bible studies; mentoring; Haiti Home of Hope Board of Directors (orphanage the church operates in Pigon, Haiti; Missions Committee; Scholarship Committee.
Sharon’s personal abortion story includes two abortions as an unmarried young adult; coming to a relationship with Jesus as a result of her abortions; years of locking away the pain and shame; keeping others at a distance for fear of being “found out”; building a successful career and solid marriage; and finally- about 40 years after the second abortion- being broken by the need to grieve and heal, seeking help through If Not for Grace Ministries (INFG). God had graciously brought her to the realization that bringing the truth to light was what was needed to be fully free to serve Him in any way He desired.
In 2013, she completed the Her Choice to Heal (HCTH)study and attended a Reconciliation Weekend which included a much needed opportunity to fully reconcile with God, acknowledge and honor and grieve publicly for her two children.
Cami is on the board of New Heart of TX and has led several Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats. Cami also volunteers during the Grief to Grace retreats for those who have been affected by abuse. Cami is an experienced Helpline Coach where she answered phones for over 4 years. Cami has a heart for helping others heal from their past.
Cami was born to a couple who dearly loved God and served as international missionaries. She accepted Christ into her heart at the age of six. Even though she grew up in the church, her perception of God was not of a loving Father but more of a judge. When she found herself pregnant in March of 1982, she was scared, ashamed and alone. She had only known the father of the baby for two months and she felt sure he would abandon her. The only option she thought she had was abortion. She couldn’t face the shame she knew this would cause for her family, so in April she drove herself to the Planned Parenthood Clinic. What happened that day became her secret- a secret she planned to take to the grave. She felt relieved and blocked the whole event from her mind-so she thought.
Twenty-five years later she filled out an application to volunteer at the Pregnancy Help Center. The lie continued when she answered “no” to the question: “Have you ever had an abortion”. During the volunteer training, she heard testimonies from two women who had an abortion. This was the first time she had ever heard anyone talk candidly about their abortion experience. These women had received God’s forgiveness and had forgiven themselves. The joy and peace on their faces was unmistakable and she wanted that same joy and peace.
In April 2008, Cami completed a post abortion bible study and then attended Rachel’s Vineyard in 2010. She did not know how much her abortion had affected her life. For 26 years she suffered with depression, feelings of unworthiness, anger, difficulty with relationships and fear that God would punish me.
The God she now knows is the God of love, mercy and grace. His forgiveness and healing in her life has ignited a passion in her to help anyone that has struggled with the effects of abortion. Cami served at the Pregnancy Help Center, has facilitated several Forgiven and Set Free Bible studies and continues to serve on Rachel’s Vineyard Retreats as a team member.
Victoria is a wife, mother, and a GramMa of 2 boys and a grateful mercy receiver of God with a continual renewal of joy in living out his purpose for her life. She is currently involved with the local pregnancy center and has attended the virtual online abortion recovery classes such as Worthy, Forgiven and Free and is a member of PATH.
Growing up my parents constantly separated to finally divorce when I was eighteen. Never feeling secure or loved and not knowing when things could change kept me anxious and looking for acceptance. This played out on my own life with dependance on others for value with no concept of love and trust in a relationship. My husband and I were going for premarital counseling when I became pregnant. The Counselor/Pastor told me if its early its nothing more than cells and referred me to planned parenthood. I believe I knew that eventually these cells would develop into a person but because I was scared and had no one to turn to I believed what I was told-listening to the loudest voices at this time in my young life.
It wasn’t until life slowed down a little and we had our first grandchild that I truly began to face what that cell represented. For it seemed utterly impossible to now live with the guilt of what I had done. God’s merciful love had been tracking my husband and I for a while. Life had been a struggle and we both knew we were coming to a turn in this road and the best thing to do was take it. So now daily we walk this new path knowing his grace is greater than our worst mistakes.
Sara lives in Connecticut where she works as a Physical Therapist Assistant. She is married to the love of her life and they have two fur-baby cats, Simon and Zoe.
This is Sara’s story in her own words:
I have always known Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I grew up in a Christian household and we went to church regularly. After I graduated high school, I started going to church less and less, and became distant from God. I became pregnant when I was 19 with my boyfriend of only a few months. He was against having the baby and quickly turned down my thoughts of adoption. I felt helpless, alone, completely frozen with fear, and too ashamed to tell anyone else. Having an abortion was not what I wanted to do, but I felt forced into what seemed like the only option at the time. I thought that maybe I would eventually be able to forget it happened. That would not be the case at all.
Shortly after my abortion, I attended private counseling to help cope with the aftermath. The depression, grief, shame, nightmares, anxiety, anger, bitterness, and jealousy were taking over my life. The counseling helped me to pick myself up every day and function as best I could. Perfectionism and doing things that made me “look good” quickly consumed me. I needed to do as much as I could, as perfectly as I could, to compensate for the fact that I had an abortion. I also did everything I could to make sure people would like me. This absorbed nearly 15 years of my life. A decade and beyond of hiding and pretending; all the while so hurt and angry that no one knew my pain, that I couldn’t tell anyone. The emotional, mental, and spiritual pain became so deeply rooted, I didn’t know how to deal with it. So I simply went on living as I was, convincing myself everything was ok.
My mom and I started going back to church when I was in my late 20’s, and that’s when I began to develop a relationship with God again. When I was 30, I met my husband and we started looking for a church home together. My relationship with the Lord continued to grow. My husband and I had many conversations about children, and ultimately, we chose a child-free marriage. Saying this choice was a struggle for me is an understatement. I knew the pain from my abortion was having an effect on my ability to clearly know if I truly wanted children or not. I sometimes ponder our decision, but we prayed and prayed on it, and I know that God’s plan for us is bigger than our choices. I often refer back to a quote by Lisa Bevere; “If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this. You, my friend, are not that powerful.”
In 2018, I attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat, with the hope that the healing would give me clarity about having children, but what I received was something different. Something I believe God knew I needed, rather than what I wanted. It was at my retreat that the deep, hurting roots of my abortion came to the surface. It was the first time I had met other women (known to me) who also experienced abortion, and it was such a comfort to be in their presence. I was not alone! I gave my baby a name, an identity. She became real. I was able to forgive myself, honor my child, and lay her to rest, knowing she is with the Lord. Rachel’s Vineyard was the start of my amazing healing journey, and I continued that journey in 2019, participating in a Forgiven and Set Free bible study. The healing I experienced was life-changing. I was able to forgive all those involved in my abortion, had several breakthroughs, and was able to again honor my child, Ella Grace, who my husband spiritually adopted at the memorial service.
God’s love and forgiveness has set me free from the pain and bondage that abortion brings. Healing after abortion is a journey. I still experience difficult moments from time to time, but I do not stay in them for long. I now live in God’s strength, love, mercy, and grace, which has led me to be able to serve other women who are feeling pain after abortion, and support them in finding their help, hope, and healing.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
~ 2 Corinthians 5:17
Yolanda retired last year and is fulfilling her dream of volunteering with organizations such as her local church, pregnancy center and most recently H3Helpline.
Since the trauma of her own abortion when she was 18 years old, she wanted to find a way to help other women experiencing the same traumatic incidences from their abortions.
Having just graduated from high school and her father died soon after, she was still trying to figure out what to do with herself. It seemed that the family fell apart after her father’s death and everyone seemed to scatter to their own corners of the world to recoup from such a sudden devastating loss.
Soon after, finding out she was pregnant, caused even more confusion and indecision with what to do about her pregnancy. Yolanda hoped that her boyfriend would step up and offer to marry her and take care of her and the baby, but unfortunately, he was in and out of trouble and using drugs and did not offer any kind of support.
When her family discovered she was pregnant, they did not offer any support or understanding, she felt she was on her own and didn’t have any other option than to have an abortion. The time for the procedure took minutes, but the aftermath of the abortion has lasted a lifetime. That is why Yolanda has such a strong calling to help other women who are experiencing the same aftereffects that she has.
Mindy lives in TN with her husband of 20 plus years, two dogs, a cat, and many chickens. Before giving her life to Christ in 1997, Mindy’s life was tainted and marred by varying sexual abuses, sexual promiscuity, and alcohol. This led to four pregnancies, three of which ended in abortion.
Her view of herself was she was a piece trash to be discarded and with every abortion her thoughts were confirmed as she would ask herself, “Who would do this to their baby over and over?”
Shortly after her salvation Mindy began to battle thoughts in her head that said, “Those people (church people) will never accept you; they are not like you.” And “God can’t love you; you killed His kids.” Fearing rejection and seeing no other alternative she left the church and went back to the life she knew previously.
While walking with God Mindy tasted the sweetness of the Word and knew it was good. Couple that with the Lord pursuing her she returned to the church a year after leaving. It wasn’t long after she learned about something called a pregnancy center and decided she needed to help.
As she sat down with the lady at the center to tell her story she ended up in a pool of tears as her life unfolded before her own eyes for the first time. She was encouraged to take the Forgiven and Set Free bible study group. In that group she learned about God, how He viewed her abortion, and she grew in her faith as she began her healing journey.
Since 2015, Mindy has been leading other women on that same journey of discovery and healing. She volunteered at her local pregnancy center working her way to the Development Director position. She is now the founder of An Even Place abortion recovery ministry seeking to reach everyone broken by abortion and lead them to a place of healing where their hearts
can rest in an even place.